This is the moment

Ok,
So today is 6/18/13, which means I have begun my orientation for residency, which further means I am only 13 days from July 1st. I AM A DOCTOR! Yes I have to keep telling myself this fact.

I was on the phone today at the hospital and I said yes this is XX you called and the caller says yes Dr. Ceej, Ha! I guess there is no getting around it. It is amazing how, this is the moment I have been awaiting; yet, I find myself oscillating between excitement and complete feelings of terror. I tell myself everyone feels the same way. Misery indeed loves company. I struggle with being adequate, efficient, effective, knowledgeable, and lets face it the Intern who is not the complete idiot. I think setting goals will help me temper down some of those "terror moments". I will be sure to try and write some funny tales of Pediatric Intern year.

So, since it is just orientation week, I will designate my goal as: Get comfortable with the title Doctor :-).

Until Next Time,
Live, Laugh, Love & Accept your title

Insanity to Insanity

Why is this titled Insanity, well its Kind of Amazingly Insane that I have 9 weeks until I start Residency!!!! My contract has been signed, I go down to look for a place in a few weeks. I cant help but to wonder, wow this is super real! Now they say when your going through stressful(good or bad) life-changing events you tend to do or rather embark on such endeavors like, Skydiving, Bungie Jumping or any adrenaline releasing event.

Well, I unconsciously decided to embark on a 9 week (60day workout) called...INSANITY!!! I will, coincidentally or maybe not, complete this 2 days prior to my start date. This surely begs the question; What is my subconscious telling me? Quite possibly that I am so nervous about beginging my journey as a practicing MD. While yes residency is still a learning process, the new-found responsibility is made quite apparent. This said nervousness is mixed with excitement, joy, and gratefulness.

I look forward to these 9 weeks of preparation in mind, body, and spirit. I would have to say my subconscious got it right, and the outward manifestation makes sense. Why not prepare myself to embark on a continuation of one of the most difficult parts of my journey as an M.D. The end result will be feeling good, looking good, and physically pushing myself beyond what I have ever done before. In residency I intend to do the same; to become the best of me, the best as a physician, the best advocate for my patients, a physician of compassion and integrity. So in the end when I look at Me: I am proud of who I Am.

Until Next time,
Live, Laugh, Love and "DIG DEEPER"

Whats that "Itis"???

Well, everyone has been through the Itis. No not the Food Coma kind, The I am progressing forward and nothing your saying matters to me anymore kind. If your anything like most of the 4 year med schoolers, you saved the last rotation of your year for what you wanted to be semi easy. I find myself these days saying mmmm does this pertain to my field, if not then well that goes into mental trash. BUT THEN...as I am doing some self learning for my course and I decided to "trash what was not important". A friend says "Oh doing the whole thing was really helpful" I pause for effect "Blink blink, eh ok" In my head I say well it will help her for USMLE Step 2, Another pause for effect..Blink blink, the R u sure you want to put this in the trash appeared in my head, and I sadly recall sometime this year I have to take my last licensing exam (USMLE Step 3), and since I am going into Pediatrics and this test has adult medicine on it, I may need the said information to keep me abreast. *sigh* cancel button pushed, back into the memory box.

The Itis is still very real, I will just have to choose my trashed items more carefully. I have 15 days of Medical School left (excluding weekends). I cannot tell you how amazing it will feel to be done, and yet so frightening. A friend asked me how I am feeling about what is to come, well that will most probably be a future post I dare not spoil it now. So as this Itis clearly settles in, I will enjoy this weekend on the beach, and purposely forget I have homework to do for monday :-).

Until next time,

Live, Laugh, Love & Take out the trash

It is Done!!!

Hello All,
I am so sorry, I have been in such aww and amazement and excitement I forgot to write it here! I MATCHED!!!!!! I am so thankful to GOD!

So here is how it happened: I ended up having to scrub into an OR case at 1030am! So of course once you are scrubbed in you are stuck there till the end. 1130am came and now I am getting antsy! We are finally done. I get to the library at 1145, sit and wait, now all the others around me got their log in or email notification at 1155am. Not Mee!! The computer stopped working and I had to switch, my email was delayed so I did not find out my good news until 10m after everyone else. It felt like a life time!! But the good news was there. I am still rereading the email today lol. Now tomorrow I will find out where.

So grateful and in awe of God!!! As always He continues to amaze me as i continue to have faith in
him.


Till next time,
Live, laugh, love, and happy dance

Anxiety, Faith and Explosive Diarrhea

Anxiety: Ok so it had definately been awhile, forgive me as I was packing up my carry-on every other week to fly to a different state, to interview for my Pediatric Residency Position. During this time there was exhilaration, apprehension, excitement and fear all jumbled into a smorgageboard of unrelentless uncertainty. Will they like me, will I like them, why me out of the other 50, 100, 200 people they have interviewed? All of these question run through your mind until you sit in front of your interviewer and when your being honest its easy. So it was easy for me to relay my love for Peds, my dedication to medicine, and my desire to be the best. Lets face it, some say this but not everyone means it.  Well I mean it, and I hope to God they could see this.

Faith: So with my last interview done. I wait, 4weeks 3 days (31 days) for fate to be revealed. To open up an email on a Monday that says Congratulations You Matched, then wait till Friday to open another email that says You have matched here. 4 weeks and 3 days of exercising this Faith, faith that tells me my journey was not in vain. Faith that tells me God has given me peace and assurance that I will end up exactly where I am suppose to be. Faith that all my prayers, family's prayers, friends prayers will be answered. Faith that in July 2013 I will begin my intern year has a Pediatric Resident Physician.

Explosive Diarrhea: on the 30th day it is sure to happen, stomach cramps and many trips to el bano. On the 31st day, these symptoms will surely increase. If faith reigns true, or rather when Faith reigns true I will jump with joy and excitement, I Matched! Later I will find out where. I will enjoy the next 3 months of bliss with minimal to do and catch up on laying on the beach. Sometime mid June I will begin orientation and start My Intern year...and that diarrheal episode will be spoken of on a later date.

Until Next time,
Live, Laugh, Love and most importantly Have Faith